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Pick at the pops: 07 April 2008

John Lennon and Heather Mills

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Our weekly round-up of the weird and wonderful world of pop music...

We’re hanging out the bunting this week for the new Mrs –Z. Yes, Beyoncé Knowles, as she was formerly known, has finally made an honest man of hip-hop supremo Jay-Z. How did the news break? Well, there was a big tent on the roof of Jay’s New York apartment block. Not that it’s proof of anything. He was probably just practising for Glastonbury – he doesn’t want to be fiddling around with pegs when there’s pear cider to be drunk.

Beyoncé wants to be careful, mind you, because the life of a pop star wife is no bed of roses. Just ask Yoko Ono: “I think all the [Beatle] wives did suffer and, I think, quietly suffer.” She can’t be talking about Heather Mills, unless you count that only-audible-to-dogs squeaking on GMTV, but Ono expressed sympathy for Paul McCartney and remarked that Mills needed to “do her very best and try to survive”. We imagine she’ll get by, what with those countless millions and everything.

Speaking of Heather Mills, has anyone else ever noticed how much she looks like John Lennon? No? Come on – that pinched nose, the thinly puckered lips, the beard… Someone get Macca to a shrink. If he’s not already there, that is.

Finally, let’s spare a thought for Calvin Harris. The Scots DJ and merrymaker had a week to forget, which ended with him cancelling his forthcoming live dates owing to “European commitments”. These “commitments” presumably comprise haring all over the continent looking for his laptop - containing his entire new album – which went missing in the ongoing crisis at Heathrow’s Terminal 5. Poor Calvin. It may have been acceptable in the… ah, no need to kick a man when he’s down.

Matthew Horton

Picture: PA Photos